Please wrap any unused portion and dispose of properly

Do not use if packaging shows any evidence of tampering
Store in a cool, dry place
Should be kept between 50-80*F
Keep opened container out of reach of children at all times
Squeeze at arrows and pull up while turning
Push down on cap while turning
Pound on cap edges with heavy end of table knife and swear vigorously while turning
Get a child to help you open container
Use dosage cup provided, or measuring teaspoon
Always take with food or 8-oz. of water
If no food or water is available, take with a minimum of two breath mints per dose
Do not exceed 4 doses in any 24-hour period
If you experience nausea or dizziness, discontinue use immediately
If you develop a weird rash, continue using but consult physician
If you develop numbness in your extremities, discontinue use and consult physician
If you enjoy nausea and/or dizziness and/or rashes and/or numbness feel free to continue using, just don't sue us!
If symptoms show no improvement after ten days, consult physician
If your physician can see you within four days, continue using product until after appointment
If your physician can't see you for more than four, but less than ten, days, keep using product unless you develop projectile vomiting or a purulent rash
If your physician can't see you for more than ten days, get a new primary care provider
If you keep making that face, someday it will freeze that way.